Introducing Team USA

I thought wasps died in the winter.

Oh, those WASPS. Silly me. And that's not completely true. Only the drones do. The queens hibernate until spring.

According to Yahoo Sports, Team USA just revealed its outfits for the winter games opening ceremonies. And I quote: "Inspired by designs worn during the 1932 Lake Placid Winter Olympics, these outfits are so American they basically play Bruce Springsteen songs." That got me really excited. I imagined something rugged, like jeans and an undershirt. Maybe some flannel to keep out the cold. You know, Springsteen attire. Cool, I thought, Ralph Lauren is about to stand for the common man! Imagine my shock when I saw the designs.

Check this one out:



Is that logo big enough? Seriously. It looks like the First Horse of the Apocalypse, come to conquer us all.



If you have $385 to spend on a cardigan, you too can look like a U.S. athlete in the Winter Olympics. $325 for the opening ceremony jacket.

Of course, this is just continuing the tradition of dressing for prep school. And really, I'm not even sure why I am complaining about athletes and promotions. Apolo Ohno will be getting a good night's sleep thanks to NyQuil. Maybe he will eat McDonalds and drink Coca-Cola, or at least pretend to. He will be wearing Nike. So will curlers. Bobsledders will be wearing UnderArmour.

So be sure to catch all the action on NBC and buy GE appliances! Oh, and be sure to check out Universal's The Wolfman on opening day, February 12!